What is in a name?

Since we found out that Katrina is pregnant again, we’ve been going through all the usual activities. Like, deciding what OBGYN to use and where we’re going to put the nursery and what names we like for boys and girls. This has gotten me thinking a lot about names and what weight they carry, or rather weight they should carry. I don’t necessarily mean the biblical/super-spiritual thing where a child’s name means “God with us” or whatever. I mean more in the heritage part of it.

Let me try to explain better.

Since as far back as I can remember, I have been engrained with Scottish pride. I don’t know why, but my Dad and that whole side of the family have always had a passion for being of Scottish descent. We have records and stories of our ancestor’s journey to the states. They are also proud of the fact that not only are we Scottish, but we are McDonald’s, of the clan MacDonald, Lord of the Isles, from the Isle of Skye. “Be proud of your heritage, son!” is what I’ve been told since birth, I imagine. Don’t get me wrong, I love Scotland and I love my heritage. The “heritage propaganda” worked well on me, maybe too well.

Here is my point.

What is heritage? Your family’s roots and origins, right? And what is pride for your heritage? Being thankful for something that you had no control over? No, it’s embracing the struggles, the successes, the lives, and the history of your origins. And how is that pride carried on? It is carried on through family.

Here is my question.

The McDonald sides of my family are the most dysfunctional, disconnected, and spiritually disoriented people that I know. Plus, my Father only wants to have a relationship with my family and me when it works for him. So my question is, if familial pride is such a huge part of who they/we are then why do they neglect the “family” that they’re so proud of. I can’t wrap my mind around that rationale. It’s contradictory to say the least.

In conclusion.

I haven’t spoken to my Father (note the use of the word “father” not “dad”) since Nov. 2, my birthday. We didn’t see each other or speak over Thanksgiving for reasons that are too stupid to even write about. I know I am not totally innocent in the faults of our relationship, but I’m tired of playing his game. I look forward to the day when I can pass on the story of the McDonald heritage to my children and when I can pass on a love for all things Scottish. However, I pray that it will be passed on through my love for them and not just passed on through meaningless words.

Peace