Some Days Are Better Than Others...

Danny Harrison is one of my greatest mentors and he suggested that since I don’t talk about personal stuff, that I should write it down, so…

Get prepared for some personal stuff…

Some of you may know that I feel like I have a calling (burning passion in my soul) to full time ministry, and at the moment I am technically “on staff” at Avalon Church in a very part time status. And as some of you may or may not know I pray every day that I will get that magic phone call telling me that funds have been released and I can come work at the church full time doing what I love to do and leave a trail of smoke from my comfy desk here at Bennett as I run full speed straight to the church.
Some days are better than others. Some times I understand that it has nothing to do with me as an individual and a full time media guy is a luxury that Avalon cannot afford. And there are times when I don’t understand how a church like ours can’t afford not to have a full time media guy on staff when a lot of people decide to visit the church because of a mail out that I designed or decide to come back because of how “professional the graphics look”. Not to say that it’s all under my own power, I have been given a unique gift from God and he is the source of all my creativity and I give Him all the glory for it.
If I am being honest, I get jealous and envious of people that get hired at the church or moved to full time from part time before me. And the reality is that if we are truly a fluid church then we have to address the staffing needs by importance and not by who’s been in line the longest. There are a handful of other positions that the church needs to fill before they should hire a media/graphics person (e.g. – middle school pastor, small groups pastor, etc…) The problem of course is that I get excited thinking that the church is getting close to hiring me, and then for example the middle school ministry explodes and then there’s another major need there.
Another one of my great mentors (Greg Reed) once told me “nothing surprises God”. When you realize this, then you will also realize He is in total control, and He wants you to be wherever you are for a reason. It’s a hard pill to swallow, I know. But it can be very comforting too, to know that the creator of all life is in control of your situation and you're not!
I go to the church on my lunch breaks and go to staff events and retreats and live the fantasy of being one of the “staffers”. Last year when I was between jobs I worked at the church for 2 weeks re-designing all the interior signage. Those were two of the greatest weeks of my life. I have never felt more fulfilled in my work than I did those two weeks.
If Avalon never hires me full time and I stay part time for the rest of my life I will be thankful that I have a great church to call home and that they were gracious enough to allow me to use my talent for God.
Please God keep me from being jealous or envious and help me to be thankful for what I have. Amen.

Whew! I feel better. Thanks Danno.

Peace